As a coach and psychotherapist, I have had the privilege of working with folk from across the world in different cultures, who all collectively aspire to grow and develop.

There is one question that appears to emerge in almost every conversation, which either sits in my mind as I listen or is spoken. How do we get in our own way?

We inevitably do. In our developmental journey, we often don’t see the ‘wood for the trees’. And it seems to me, that this question is key to unlocking if and how we develop.

I realise to begin it’s important to own that we often don’t know we are doing it – it appears we may have an unconscious self-saboteur?  Someone who takes over almost without our knowing, and in doing so displaces or pushes away who we essentially are.

This poses the question of whether the key to getting out of our own way is one of remembering who we really are, beyond and behind the person that we commonly think we are.

How quickly we may mask ourselves and then forget the one who sits behind. Consider for yourself – who sits behind your mask?  And don’t be surprised if it’s the person that you long to be and become, who you most naturally are, the person you would like to know better.

The following short film explores the nature of development and how we play games with ourselves – which I have entitled ‘Hide and Seek’. 


What a remarkable conundrum we are.

Getting out of our way is key to development, yet we are often more preoccupied with the game of hide and seek.

We appear to hide what we seek

And seek what we may hide.

How wonderfully paradoxical our developmental journey is and so how do we learn to go beyond the games we play?

How do I win this game?

Or learn how to play better?

The answer offers another conundrum. There appears to be no way around, only through. What do we mean by this?

We are often unconscious of the mask we wear and the face we present outwardly. And what we are unconscious and blind to controls the way we see the world.

To go beyond such limitation and blindness, we must first recognise and own the mask we wear. Only through such recognition are we able to remember and reveal who resides behind the mask. That is once again, who you most naturally are. The person you long to be and become.